


Fragments of Life

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: Dance With The Devil [3]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Angst, Babies, California, Child Death, Childbirth, Computers, Crying, F/M, Fan Soundtracks, Fanmix, Hospitals, Kid Fic, Making Love, Marijuana, Older Man/Younger Woman, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Test, Reunions, Sibling Incest, Stillbirth, Tattoos, Unplanned Pregnancy, Video, first word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5397731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two People. One Journey Home. Three Years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. March 14, 2015

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a fictional story. None of this story is true and I am in no way associated with Hanson. I do own any original characters. Also, please do not translate this unless you ask me for permission first. Thanks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: "Can I hold her?" he asked hoping that Avery said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never Loved The Way I Loved You

Avery sat in the hospital bed and grinned as she looked down at the little girl in her arms. The girl who had her daddy's smile and a set of blue eyes that Avery wasn't sure if they would change or stay that color. It was possible Stella could get blue eyes. After all Jolene had blueish green eyes and Avery's dad had blue eyes. Both her and Zac carried that gene.

Hearing the door open Avery looked up surprised when Zac walked in, "Z..Zac?" she asked feeling confused by his appearance in her room.

Zac nodded his head as he looked at Avery who sat in the hospital bed holding a baby in her arms. A baby that he knew was their baby. "My mom called me and told me," he said to her as he walked closer eventually coming to sit beside her on the bed. "She thought I should be here to see my daughter," he said as he looked at the baby in Avery's arms. It was a baby they had made out of love and a baby that he knew she hadn't even had to keep especially with how he had just left her like he did.

"I told her not to tell you," Avery sighed once Zac had sat down beside her on the bed.

"When does my mom ever listen?" Zac asked before laughing as he kept his eyes on the sleeping baby. A baby that he was still amazed was part him. He had never thought he'd get to have this since Brenda hadn't wanted children.

Avery rolled her eyes, "I guess you have a point," she spoke noticing Zac looking at their baby. "If she was awake right now you could see her blue eyes. I was kind of hoping for brown but I guess she is going to be a typical baby though hopefully they change. I've always wanted a brown eyed baby."

"So that's the only reason you had sex with me huh?" Zac asked slightly offended. "Just to get a brown eyed baby."

Again Avery rolled her eyes as she shook her head, "That isn't why I had sex with you at all and the baby wasn't even supposed to be a part of the equation," she told him knowing that she hadn't planned on another baby so soon in her life. "I wasn't even sure on keeping this one. I wanted to have an abortion."

"Why didn't you?" Zac asked her as he raised an eyebrow. "Why did you keep our baby?"

At Zac's question Avery wanted to do like she had done for most of her pregnancy. She had wanted to say she had kept this baby for Jolene. She had wanted to say she was keeping her to make Jolene happy but deep down she had always known that was a lie. It was a lie she had been telling herself to make this easier and not make herself seem pathetic.

"I kept her because she's part you," she shrugged as she chewed on her lip. "She's part you and I just wanted some part of you still. Something that wouldn't just leave me," she said as she shook her head. "And I kind of also had hopes of having a brown eyed child," she teased just to lighten her own mood now.

Zac swallowed hard as he listened to Avery. He could tell from her words that his leaving had cut her deep and that he may never be able to get forgiveness from her but he could try, "I'm sorry," he said as he looked at her. "I'm sorry I left like I did. I was stupid and I just wanted..I wanted to try so hard with Brenda. I wanted to run from what I felt for you and go back to what was familiar."

"I get that," Avery said honestly because she figured that was part of the reasons she had went back to Taylor. He was familiar to her. He was someone she knew well and she knew what to expect with him. "But you should have though about how you leaving would affect me. How my life would have been."

"I should have but I can't change the past," Zac said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek softly. "I can change things now though," he said as his lips went to her ear and he kissed it as well. "I want to be here for you and our baby."

Avery closed her eyes as Zac kissed her cheek and then her ear, "You haven't even asked her name," she sighed as she moved away from him some. "The first step in wanting to be here. You should know her name."

Raising an eyebrow Zac just looked at Avery feeling like she was deliberately trying to push him away, "What's her name?" he asked curiously seeing the baby open it's eyes and look at him. As it did he couldn't help but grin knowing he had helped make that baby.

"Stella Rosa," Avery said once she saw Stella open her eyes.

Zac grinned more as he heard the baby's name, "Can I hold her?" he asked hoping that Avery said yes.

Nodding Avery handed Stella to him and she chewed her lip hoping that action didn't make Stella cry. The first time she had let Taylor hold her Stella had threw the worst fit ever and showed off her lungs.

Zac took the baby from Avery and he just admired her as he held her in his arms. She was so tiny and he was almost afraid of breaking her, "Hey there Stelly," he cooed to her as he made a funny face. "I'm your daddy which means I helped make you," he said as he looked over at Avery to see her roll her eyes at him. "I helped make you and I love you," he whispered before kissing her forehead.

It was after he kissed her forehead that he broke out singing Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison. It was something he had to blame Avery for.

"You know she doesn't have brown eyes," Avery told him as she raised an eyebrow surprised that he could sing. She hadn't heard him sing but he had a really good voice.

"But she will," Zac said as he took a break from singing and looked at Avery. "My Stelly will have brown eyes just like me and her beautiful mama," he smiled before turning to look down at Stella again and finish the song.

As he sang Avery just smiled and she knew in that moment even though Zac had hurt her so badly that she still loved him. She had never loved anyone, not even Taylor, like she loved Zac.  
_____________________________________________________________

Waking with a jolt as she heard Stella crying, Avery looked around her and saw that she was in her hospital room but there was no Zac instead when she looked over towards the bassinet Stella had been sleeping in she saw a tired looking Taylor getting her out.

Taylor who had gotten Stella out turned to look at Avery seeing her awake, "You better take her," he sighed as he shook his head. "She never stops fussing when I hold her," he said knowing he had tried once before when Avery had been asleep. Luckily Jolene had been there and taken her so she'd stop fussing.

Avery laughed but took the baby from him, "Hey there Stelly," she said as she began to move her slowly in her arms. "Are you hungry?" she asked knowing it was time for another feeding. "Yeah I think you are hungry Stelly," she said as she adjusted her hospital gown some so she could feed Stella. She had breastfed both of the boys so with Stella it was now a piece of cake.

"Stelly?" Taylor asked curiously as he heard Avery refer to Stella as that. They had never decided on a nickname for her where as Jonah had always been little man and Charlie had always been Charlie buddy.

Nodding Avery looked over at Taylor once she got Stella situated, "I kind of like Stelly as a nickname," she smiled as she remembered her dream and how Zac had called her Stelly. He had specifically called her his Stelly and that still stuck with her and so now Stella to her was Stelly.

"Do you not like it?" she asked seeing Taylor make a face. She wasn't sure if she cared what Taylor thought of Stelly though because she was going to use it regardless.

Taylor contemplated her question, "I guess it's okay," he said as he eyed Stella as she fed. "My Stelly," he said as he smiled down at the baby who seemed to not even like him yet.

When Taylor called Stelly his Stelly, Avery couldn't help but have a pang of guilt especially since in her dream Zac had said the same thing. He had said My Stelly and just the thought of that dream made her sad because a part of her couldn't help but wish Zac was here but in the end he had chose to leave and she was too much of a coward to tell him about the baby or even ruin his relationship with Brenda.

"Yeah she is your Stelly," Avery smiled playing along with Taylor's words hoping that he couldn't see or hear just how hard that was for her to say. All she wanted was to hear Zac say those words and for it to actually be real but it never would be.


	2. October 8, 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: She had said dada.

My Life's At The Table With Yours

Avery held the camera as she sat at the restaurant in California, pointing it towards Stella who was now almost seven months old. In a few more days she'd be seven months old and Avery swore she was growing like a weed each and every day. She and Taylor along with Stella and Zoe who had tagged along to watch Stella had been in California now for three days.

Taylor had came here for some conference on photography and during the days when he was in meetings she got to sight see and she would. She'd take Zoe and Stella out on all sorts of adventures and today was one of those sort of. They were really just a few buildings down from their hotel having lunch.

"You know I don't know why you constantly have to be filming her today," Zoe said as she looked over at her sister who had the camera held to her niece who sat contently in a high chair as she just babbled up a storm. Not all of her words made sense right now but sometimes she swore she heard some words that did make sense.

Avery turned to look at Zoe, "Because Stelly has been talking up a storm today and Taylor thinks that she may say dada. She was actually very close this morning before he had to leave but she never got the word out," she shrugged. "I think he is just let down her first word was tata and if her second word is dada he'll get an ego boost and get to throw it in my face."

"Tata?" Zoe asked raising her eyebrow curiously.

Nodding Avery looked down at her breasts, "Tata for boobs," she laughed as she blushed some. "Whenever I breast fed her Taylor would refer to them as my tata's and I guess she heard it too much and one day before I fed her she said that word. Then she started saying it every time she was hungry."

Zoe laughed as she looked away from her sister, "When was this?"

"Three weeks ago," Avery answered as she shot Zoe a glare when Zoe laughed. "She still does it too but not as much," she said feeling relieved. "Jonah found it amusing but then again he is six almost seven and will find anything amusing that really shouldn't be."

"And he is too much like his dad and is just annoying," Zoe teased as she shook her head when she was finally able to look at her sister. "Do you like your mommy's tatas Stelly?" she asked her niece as she bent down towards the high chair.

Rolling her eyes as Zoe talked to Stella, Avery sighed when she heard Stella say tata's and she turned the camera towards herself, "Reminder to delete that part later," she said before putting the camera back on Stella. "Stelly can you say dada?" she asked seeing her daughter turn to look at her confused.

"Yeah I don't think dada is coming anytime soon," Zoe said as she looked at Avery. "Not to break Taylor's poor fragile heart when he sees this video though," she teased knowing she liked to give Taylor a hard time. It could be fun.

Avery shrugged, "Don't be rude," she said as she handed the camera towards Zoe. "Can you film though? I have to go to the bathroom and I think after that we can go. I need to head back to the hotel and shower because I think Taylor wants to go out tonight when he gets back."

Nodding Zoe took the camera from Avery and then watched her sister walk off, "Hey there pretty girl," she said as she turned the camera on Stella. "Are you going to say dada for me? I am your favorite aunt so say dada for me. Pwease," she spoke before sticking her lip out and pouting.  
_______________________________________________________

Zac who held his iPod in one hand and his ear buds in another hummed to a song as he walked down the semi crowded Los Angeles street heading to the restaurant where he was supposed to be meeting Brenda and a few friends for lunch. He knew he was early but the class he had been teaching at the college had gotten out early and for once he actually wanted to prove Brenda wrong and prove he could show up on time.

Going into the restaurant when he arrived he looked around though before he could spot an empty table he spotted a blast from his not too distant past and felt his cheeks get warm. Taking the iPod headphones out Zac stuck the iPod in his jeans before walking over to the table.

"Zoe?" he asked coming to a stop in front of her and a baby in a high chair. A baby who just looked up at him and smiled once she heard his voice and her smile melted his heart though then again kids seemed to have that affect on him. He had always loved being around his friends kids and he had hoped one day Brenda would change her mind about the no baby thing but she said she despised kids and didn't want little brats running around.

Zoe who had been filming Stella looked up at Zac and she plastered on a fake smile, "Zac," she said as she felt nervous for him to be around Stella right now. She wasn't stupid and she knew neither was anyone else in their family. Everyone knew Stella was his, heck she even had Zac's brown eyes right down to the shape.

Smiling when Zoe acknowledged him he bent down to the baby in the high chair, "I didn't know you had a baby," he smirked before pinching the baby's cheek. "Aren't you just an adorable little thing?" he asked when the baby turned to look at him with her huge brown eyes. Her eyes were enough to freeze him slightly because they looked familiar though he couldn't place them.

"She's not.." Zoe started but stopped trying to think of a words to say to him to tell him whose baby that was. "I mean she's.." she sighed as she chewed her lip. "She's not my...."

Zac laughed some at Zoe's inability to say words, "I know whose baby she really is," he finally said looking at her seriously. "I still follow your sister on instagram," he said knowing he had never found the heart to unfollow Avery even if he had to see pictures of her life now. He knew she had gotten back with Taylor and he knew she must have obviously gotten pregnant not long after. "I have seen pictures of this little cutie all over my feed," he said before looking at the baby again.

"Oh," Zoe muttered as she blushed at Zac's words. "So you know she is Avery's?" she asked afraid that he also had figured out she was his baby as well.

Nodding Zac looked up at Zoe again, "Do you think I could hold her?" he asked.

At Zac's question Zoe chewed her lip, "I guess you can," she said almost wishing Avery where here instead of in the bathroom. "I mean I'm not sure when Avery will be back though."

"What does Avery have to do with me holding her daughter?" Zac asked as he picked up the baby and kissed her cheek. "And where is your sister? I kind of want to see her," he said honestly. He knew he had hurt her when he left but that didn't mean he didn't miss her and he did regret how he had ended things. He regretted that he had been such a douche.

Zoe chewed her lip again at Zac's words feeling uncomfortable not just because of them but because she was filming him with Stella. She was filming him with his baby for a video that Taylor was supposed to see especially if Stella said dada.

"She's in the bathroom," Zoe answered finally as she again faked a smile. "But I don't know if she'll want to see you. I mean you did kind of hurt her and were an asshole," she said before cussing. "Sorry Stella," she said as she looked at the baby in Zac's arms. "Forget you heard me say that word."

Laughing at Zoe after she has cussed Zac looked at the baby in his arms after hearing her name, "Your name is Stella huh?" he asked her and he grinned when she looked at him and held her hand out to his lips. Kissing it softly he reached up and moved it off his lips though he did keep a hold of it after that. "Stella is a cute name but I think you look more like a Stelly," he grinned again when the baby giggled. "Does Stelly sound good to you?"

After he had spoke the last words Zac heard the baby in his arms giggle before proclaiming loudly two words that made his heart stop beating. She had said dada.

Zoe who sat there helplessly as Zac talked to Stella just froze when she heard her niece say the words dada and she wasn't even sure how she had kept a hold of the camera in that moment. Stella had called Zac dada and now it was on video. Avery was so going to flip when she saw this.

"I'm not your dada sweetie," Zac eventually spoke when he found the words. Just being called dada by her had made him hurt mainly because he knew he'd never get a chance to hear another child call him that. He'd never have one of his own to say those words to him. "I could have been but I'm not," he said knowing there was no way she was his. He may have hurt Avery but he didn't think Avery would intentionally keep this big of a truth from him. He didn't think she'd keep his own child from him.

Shaking his head he put Stella back in the high chair, "I'm going to go use the bathroom as well but if Avery comes back tell her she should stick around," he said not caring if she was still here when Brenda showed up.

As Zac walked off all Zoe could do was nod and sit there in silence. She was still taking in what happened.  
______________________________________________________________

Leaving the bathroom Avery sighed as she eventually walked towards Zoe and Stella, "Sorry it took forever," she apologized before reaching for the baby carrier that was laying in an empty seat beside where she had been sitting. "There was a huge line and it took forever."

"I..it's okay," Zoe stuttered as she looked at her sister.

Avery raised an eyebrow as she got the baby carrier adjusted on her before picking up Stella and putting her in, "Are you sure?" she asked as she looked her sister over. "You seem off right now," she said as she shook her head.

Zoe just swallowed hard, "I'm fine," she said as she stood up and headed outside quickly before Avery could ask anymore questions. Hopefully her sister followed behind or she'd be coming face to face with the reason why Zoe was so off as Avery had said.

Keeping her eyebrow raised Avery followed after her sister, "Are you sure you are okay?" she asked as she eventually started walking back to the hotel. "Did Stella say dada while I was gone?" she laughed slightly. "Is that why you are acting all weird?"

At Avery's question Zoe who had been following her finally hit stop on the camera she had realized she was still holding, "I...no...I mean..well...no.." she said again finding herself at a loss for actual real sentences or words. How could she lie to Avery when the truth was on the camera?

"She did didn't she?" Avery asked as she smiled and reached out for the camera. Seeing that Zoe had stopped recording she shook her head and kept walking. It was only when they reached their hotel lobby did she hand the camera to Zoe, "Find where she said dada for me and let me see," she smiled more. "I want to see my baby saying dada so I can cry before Taylor has the chance to rub it in my face that she said dada first."

"Trust me I don't think Tay is going to want to see this," Zoe said as she took the camera again and turned it back on. Finding where the video was she set it to where Stella had said dada, "Here," she said her tone going bitter. "But don't hate me for what happened."

Avery felt confused at Zoe's words as she took the camera. Hitting play where Zoe had stopped it she felt frozen in place as she watched the video. Seeing Zac holding Stella as those words came out of her mouth. Not even asking what Zac was doing there Avery took the video back to when she remembered leaving and she let the video play all the way through Zac showing up and again to Stella calling him daddy.

It was something that Avery found herself doing over and over and she knew she probably had to look weird just standing here but she didn't really care. She was frozen to the spot she stood in as she kept watching her daughter call Zac dada. She had fucking called Zac dada even without knowing that he was her daddy.

Shaking her head she eventually felt tears go down her cheek and it was then that she hit stop and handed the camera back to Zoe. She hadn't realized she was close to tears but she was and she knew why. It was because she felt guilty for keeping the truth from Zac. She again found herself feeling guilty for her lies and she wanted now more than ever to go find him and tell him the truth.

Avery could confess everything and maybe he'd come back. Maybe he'd want her and Stella and he'd say goodbye to Brenda. It was that thought that made her feel pathetic though. That even after how much Zac hurt her she still loved him enough to consider him coming back. She had Taylor and he was good to her...wasn't that ever going to be enough?

"I'll be back," Avery told Zoe as she turned to leave hoping that Zac was still at that restaurant.

"Where are you going?" Zoe asked looking at her sister confused.

Avery turned back to Zoe briefly, "I'm going to find Zac," she told her as she smiled sadly. "Don't fucking delete that video either," she said knowing she wanted to keep that even if it meant lying to Taylor.  
__________________________________________________

Zac who had gotten a text from Brenda not too long ago telling him she was sorry for running late and that she'd be there once she picked up their friends sighed as he sat down at the table facing the outside. He was kind of regretting being first now because that meant he was bored and the smell of food was making his stomach growl even if he refused to eat until his friends and girlfriend showed up.

Pulling up his camera on his phone he began to people watch and snap pics as he did so. It was on the third pic that he paused when he saw a woman in the picture. She was staring into the restaurant and their on her chest was a baby in a baby carrier. As he looked at the picture harder though he soon realized that the woman was Avery and the baby was who he now knew as Stella. The adorable little girl who had called him dada accidentally.

Looking away from the picture he looked up at the window and froze when he saw Avery still standing outside the restaurant. She was looking at him and he could tell she was debating on coming in or not. The confusion was clear on her face.

Avery who stood outside the restaurant for what felt like forever swallowed hard when Zac finally looked at her and then it was as if time was frozen. It had been so long since he had looked at her and she hadn't realized how much she had missed him. She was pathetic but she figured she'd always be this way every time she saw Zac. He was the one who still had every part of her even if she swore she hated him.

When he eventually stood up and headed to the doors it was when Avery came back to reality and she turned on heels walking through the crowd of people quickly. She may have wanted to talk to him, she may have still loved him but she didn't want to tell him the truth now. She couldn't and she was running. She was avoiding him and the possible situation that could arise.

Zac who made it outside shook his head as he saw Avery walking off and he began to follow after her pushing past people as he did so, "Avie!" he yelled knowing she was close enough to hear though she didn't stop. She kept on walking. "Damn it Avery just please stop!" he yelled again not caring that he sounded desperate or even if people he was pushing past thought he was crazy. Avery was here in California and she was so close that if she'd stop he could touch her.

It was at that thought that Zac realized this was also the first time since coming back to California that he had felt whole. The hole that he thought was missing felt complete just from seeing her and he kind of hated himself more now for ruining things. He hated himself for thinking he could be happy with Brenda or that he somehow had still loved her. If he had truly still loved Brenda then he wouldn't have fell in love with Avery before Brenda had waltzed back in.

Hearing Zac, Avery just kept walking though she did turn her head to look at him briefly. She hated how desperate he sounded and she hated herself for wanting to stop. She was afraid if she did he'd just feed her lies and how could she trust a word out of his mouth? How had she thought she could tell him the truth when she wasn't sure one hundred percent that he would leave Brenda for her and their family that they had? A family he had no clue even existed.

She couldn't tell him for fear of being hurt by him or the fear that if he did come back he'd leave again. She couldn't do that Stella either. She couldn't let their daughter have a father who just walked away without a second thought. So as much as she loved Zac, Avery just looked away and kept walking this time getting faster.

When Avery picked up her pace Zac came to a stop and just stood in the crowd of people as he watched her walk away from him and the moment he was out of sight he felt his heartbreak. He had lost her again or maybe he never really had her this time to begin with. She had after all moved on and maybe she loved her husband again. He could make her happy and at least he wouldn't just leave her.

Turning around Zac headed back down the street to the restaurant. He'd go back in there and act as if nothing happened. He'd go back to pretending that Brenda made him happy and that he loved her. He'd do it because the person he loved either didn't want him or just wanted him to hurt as much as he had hurt her.  
____________________________________________________

Later that night as Taylor and Stella both slept Avery had snuck into the bathroom with her laptop. Playing the video of Zac with Stella over and over she was again in tears and she knew she should just delete this video but she couldn't. She couldn't delete it and so instead she was keeping it even if it meant Taylor could likely find it and find out she had lied about Stella not saying dada today.

Clicking out of the video Avery pulled up her iTunes and clicked on a song, finding herself getting lost in the song. It was some old nineties country song that she loved and she broke down even more as she thought about Zac. Especially the part about just asking her if she ever still thought about the man...for her it wasn't just every once in awhile. She thought of Zac all the time because of Stella and she hated herself for that. She hated that she loved him still and yet at the same time she hated him too. She hated him for leaving and she hated him for making it hard for her to trust him. She hated him for the fact that she could never fully love Taylor and she hated him for making her a liar, worse than she had been before him.

She both hated and loved Zac at the same time and she was sure at this rate things would fall apart somehow, she just wasn't sure how.


	3. August 12, 2016-August 14, 2016-August 21, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: "How do you feel about us having that baby we talked about having a few months ago?"

Both See It Slippin Away

Pacing back and forth in the bathroom at her parents house Avery chewed on her lip as she looked at the stick laying on the sink. A stick that would soon let her know if she were pregnant or not. And if she were pregnant she wasn't sure if this baby would be a blessing or a curse especially since she and Taylor seemed to be having trouble lately. Trouble she knew was all her fault.

It had all started just a month after Stella's first birthday when Taylor had found that video of Zac. She had let him borrow her computer having forgotten what was on her computer in her documents and he had found it. It had been something that had caused arguments for weeks and even during their good times things were tense. The only times they actually got along were times when they had sex and it seemed that had been rare too especially this month when Taylor had opted to move out of the house and go stay with Isaac and Nikki for a bit.

Avery hadn't stopped him though she knew she probably should have but what was the use in fighting for this marriage when it seemed it had been doomed from the start. She had went into it knowing she didn't love Taylor fully and she should have known it would crash eventually.

"If you keep pacing like that you are going to create a whole in the floor," Jessica teased from where she sat on the toilet a hand resting on her swollen belly. She was seven months pregnant with her and Joe's second child and the reason why her sister was even in her parents bathroom. It was her baby shower and had she known she'd spend part of it in here with her sister while she took a pregnancy test she probably would have opted out of having one here at all.

Avery looked at Jessica as she sighed, "Sorry," she apologized as she stopped pacing. "I just can't help it. I'm nervous and I am afraid if that test comes back positive this baby is just going to do more damage then good."

Raising her eyebrow at Avery's words Jessica moved her hand down her belly as she felt her baby move, "How is it going to damage anything? I mean this baby is Taylor's isn't?" she asked softly wanting to make sure. "I mean you aren't having an affair with another man again are you?"

"No I'm not having an affair with another man again," Avery snapped feeling appalled that Jessica had even asked her that question. "The last time I had sex was three months and three missed periods ago," she said revealing that she had missed two periods since the last time she had sex with Taylor. "And it was with my husband for your information," she added in knowing that they had ended up fucking after one of their arguments in May. It hadn't been too long after her period in April and then she had never had her May period.

Avery had chalked up missing that period to stress but then when she had missed June and July too she couldn't help but wonder but again she could also blame stress. She had been under stress ever since her troubles with Taylor had started. So it was likely stress was the cause. Hell if she happened to be pregnant she hadn't shown any symptoms at least not like she had with Stella though her pregnancies with the boys had also went by smoothly compared to her pregnancy with Stella.

"It would just cause problems because of the problems Taylor and I are having. You know he is staying with Nikki and Isaac and I can't help but feel that maybe he seeing Natalie again as well," she frowned knowing she had no right to be jealous by that or even hurt not when she was forcing herself to deny how she felt for Zac. "I saw my friend Deanna in Target the other day and she said she saw Taylor and Natalie out at the movies. She's also friends with Natalie and they talked for a bit after the movies. Taylor even took her out to dinner."

Scrunching up her nose Jessica just shook her head, "Well you kind of asked for what you are getting in my opinion," she stated harshly. "You use Taylor and then when he gets sick of it again of course he is going to start moving on. What do you expect Avery?" she asked as she moved her hand off her belly. "Do you expect him to just play naive while you go on treating him like he is second best when someone out there could treat him better?"

Avery was going to protest to Jessica's words but she didn't see the use in protesting to something that was true. She did treat Taylor like he was second best. She knew it was wrong but it's the only way she knew to treat him since her whole heart wasn't in the marriage to begin with.

"You have a point," she conceded finally as she sighed. "I do treat him that way and I guess I hoped he'd stay. I guess I just hoped that I could love him like he needed," she frowned slightly. "I want too because I know loving Zac isn't going to get me anywhere. Zac is someone I can't trust with my heart even if my heart wants him."

"Then what are you going to do?" Jessica asked as she raised an eyebrow. "Let your marriage fall apart and stay single or find someone else to try to move on with?" she asked as she kept an eyebrow raised. "I personally think you owe it to Taylor to try a little harder."

Listening to Jessica, Avery rolled her eyes but instead of answering her sister she reached over and picked up the stick on the sink. Looking at it she chewed her lip, "The first thing I am going to do is schedule a doctor's appointment," she said as she looked at the two pink lines staring back at her. "I'm pregnant again," she whispered not sure if she felt happy or not.  
___________________________________________________________________

Two days after Jessica's baby shower Avery sighed to herself. She had just came back from the doctor's office where she got one hundred percent confirmation that she was pregnant. She was fifteen weeks to be exact and she wasn't even sure how she hadn't noticed other than her missed periods. If she had symptoms she had either missed them because of the stress or she just hadn't been watching as much.

Putting a hand on her stomach she still wasn't sure how she felt about this nor was she even sure how to tell Taylor that she was pregnant. That she was far enough along that they could tell her the sex of their baby in another week. Would he even believe her when she told him? She did have proof that she was that far along. The doctors had given her a paper and also had done an ultrasound to make sure the baby was alright especially since she was so far along and hadn't had one check up for her or the baby.

"Your daddy and I are like rabbits," Avery laughed softly as she rubbed her belly. "Or well actually maybe I'm just extremely fertile," she said knowing that this baby was maybe sort of planned at least. They had been talking about having another one just days before Stella's birthday and then she had gotten sick and according to the doctor she saw today the medicine she had been on to treat her sickness had interfered with her birth control pills.

Avery looked up when she heard a truck pull into the driveway and she smiled seeing Jonah and Charlie come running out of Taylor's truck. He had taken all three kids on an overnight camping trip yesterday and she had felt bad for him especially with Stella who was into everything and going everywhere now that she could walk.

"We caught a fish mommy," Charlie told his mommy as he came to a stop beside her. "Daddy took us fishing yesterday and we caught a fish and it was huge," he said as he held his arms out to show her just how huge it was.

Avery laughed at how far Charlie's arms went, "That sounds like a monster fish," she said showing as much enthusiam as her five year old son had.

Jonah made a face as he shook his head, "It wasn't that big dummy," he said as he rolled his eyes at his little brother.

"Jonah Taylor Hanson," Taylor replied sternly as he heard his oldest son call Charlie a dummy. "You don't call your brother a dummy," he said as he looked down at his oldest son.

Charlie smiled as Jonah got scolded, "Daddy's right stupid you can't call me a dummy," he said as he stuck his tongue out.

"Charlie Samuel," Avery spoke as she looked at Charlie, "The same goes for you calling him stupid," she nodded when Charlie turned to look at her.

After Avery had spoken to Charlie, Taylor put Stella down, "Jonah take your sister and brother inside okay," he said to his oldest son watching as Jonah grabbed a hold of Stella's hand and helped her up the stairs though he also made sure Charlie was right beside them.

Once they were inside and the front door closed he sighed and sat down next to Avery, "I got your text," he told her. "The one you sent last night about wanting to talk when I brought the children home."

"Yeah about that," Avery said as she chewed her lip knowing she'd have to tell him now. It was now or never. "How do you feel about us having that baby we talked about having a few months ago?" she asked him as she raised an eyebrow trying to keep her face neutral.

Looking at her confused Taylor wasn't sure what she was trying to say. She knew right now their marriage wasn't even in the best place for them to think about having another baby now. They could barely be around each other without fighting which was the main reason he had left last month.

"I think that would require us to get along a lot better right now," Taylor answered her finally. "We'd have to stop arguing long enough to have sex and I don't think we could do that. Anyway a baby isn't going to fix things between us," he said sadly. "Our marriage is dying and I don't think we can fix it."

At his words Avery swallowed hard as she felt a lump in her throat, "We don't have to have sex though," she said as she shrugged. "We already did that," she told him before looking down at the stairs she sat on. "I'm three months pregnant already. Next week I'll be four months."

Hearing Avery's words Taylor felt all the color drain from his cheeks. She was three months pregnant already. "Is it mine?" he asked stating the first thought that poped into his head.

Avery nodded as she looked up at him, "I haven't been with anyone else. The last time I had sex was when we fucked on the kitchen table after that one argument in May," she shrugged as she blushed at the idea of their baby having been conceived on the kitchen table.

"And you're just now telling me?" Taylor asked as he ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure how to feel at the news of another baby. Yes they had talked about one but that had been before he had found that video of Zac and Stella. He was still hurt that Avery had lied that long about something especially Zac seeing Stella. She knew he was self conscious when it came to Zac. He was afraid of losing her again or even Zac finding out that Stella was his.

Taylor feared the moment Zac found out because he knew then that he'd want Avery back. He'd want her and she'd go regardless of the fact that they had history and years between them as well as children. Yes she and Zac had a child too but damn it they didn't have the years or history and he didn't understand how they could even work without those.

"I just found out myself," Avery revealed as she blushed again. "I took a pregnancy test at Jessica's baby shower. I had missed three periods but I didn't have symptoms. I thought it was stress that made me miss my periods but then the test came back positive and so I scheduled appointment at my doctor's for today and they did a blood test and sent me for an ultrasound," she said as she reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out the picture from the ultrasound today. She had asked for it so she'd have physical proof herself that she was really pregnant. "That's our baby," she said to him as she handed him the picture.

Taking the picture from Avery, Taylor looked it over his eyes staring right where the baby was. A baby he wasn't sure he was happy about but it was on it's way now and what could they do? It wasn't like they could get rid of it now. "It's okay?" he asked as he handed the picture back to her. "I mean there is no problems with it since you found out so late?"

Avery shook her head, "It's perfectly fine and healthy," she told him as she took the picture back. "Next week I can even find out what it is," she said trying to see the positive in this. "If I want to that is."

"Do you?" Taylor asked her curiously.

"I think I do," Avery said as she smiled some finally. "I want to know if we're finally going to even with boys and girls cause you know Stelly and I are kind of feeling outnumbered sometimes."  
_______________________________________________________________________

Taylor looked over at Avery as they both sat on the park bench a week later. They had just left her doctor's appointment an hour ago and had then went to lunch at Pizza Hut because that was apparently what Avery was craving. She had said she could almost smell the cheese and she had needed a cheese pizza really badly.

"Another boy," Avery spoke as she broke the silence around them, her eyes going to Stella who was playing in the sandbox. She was the only kid they had brought with them. Diana had wanted to spend what was left of Summer break with Charlie and Jonah and so for the last three days she had the boys.

"You disappointed?" Taylor asked as he looked at her curiously.

Shaking her head Avery smiled, "No, I just want a healthy baby in the end. I don't care that it's another boy," she laughed as she looked at him. "I was just hoping to give you a girl."

"I have a girl," Taylor told her as he looked at Stella. "I don't need another one," he said knowing that he was fine with Stella. Zac would never be in this girl's life regardless of some happenstance meeting in California and right now he was feeling better in that thinking. "I'm sorry I've treated you like shit."

Avery smiled more when Taylor apologized, "I'm sorry for treating you like second best. I've done it for longer than you have treated me like shit."

At Avery's apology Taylor reached for her hand and he gave it a squeeze, "I'm okay with that. I know you'll always love him. I have come to accept that. I may not understand it at times but I accept that it's him you'd rather have as your husband," he lied knowing it was best if he did. Telling her the truth would just start an argument and they didn't need that, not when she was pregnant.

"I don't want to love him," Avery admitted being honest. "I want to love you, at least like I used too. I can try still though and maybe one day it will work," she said as she squeezed his hand back. "Maybe I can love you again."

"Maybe," Taylor whispered not sure if he believed that she could. After saying that things went silent for the longest time but eventually he looked at her, "This means we're going to have to get a bigger house and trade in your car," he said knowing they couldn't keep living in a three bedroom house nor could she keep driving a car that only fit three people in the backseat.

Laughing at his words Avery sighed, "The joys of having more than three kids," she said sarcastically as she laid her head on his shoulder. "But we did say after we got married that we wanted five kids. At least after this one we only have one more to go."

Taylor smirked as he rolled his eyes, "I think I was drunk when I said I wanted five children," he sighed knowing now at thirty-three he could barely keep up with three. He could hardly imagine adding the one on the way into the mix or even one more after that. "Let's just pray there isn't another one hiding behind the one they can see on the ultrasound."

Laughing more Aver squeezed his hand again as she kept her head resting on his shoulder, "Does this mean you are coming home?" she asked knowing even after finding out he had spent the last few days with Isaac and Nikki. "And that you are ending things with Natalie?"

"Natalie and I never had anything again. She's just a friend who I can talk too and I needed to talk," Taylor spoke as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. "But yeah I will come home," he nodded. "Anyway I'm pretty sure Isaac and Nikki want to convert the guest room into a nursery already. Nikki is just a week ahead of you in her pregnancy."

Avery felt better knowing Taylor was coming home, "It'll be nice with all these babies around," she said knowing that at least her younger kids had cousins around their age on either side they could play with. Poor Jonah had never really got that luxury. "Maybe all these babies will bring some good luck."


	4. October 8, 2016-October 22,2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: He wanted and he needed that again just to maybe feel somewhat whole and complete.

Some Dance To Remember, Some Dance To Forget

Zac sat in the back of his truck as he finished off a joint he had been smoking. He had left work not too long ago and he had drove down to the beach. Today marked a year since he had seen Avery again and he kept flash-backing to that time. He almost regretted not keeping up with her in that crowd. He regretted the fact that he had let her get away from him.

Getting off the tailgate he closed it up and went around to the driver's side of his car where he got in and eventually drove off. He knew where he was going as he had been going their once a week since that day a year ago. He kept going back in hopes that he'd run into her again and even though by now he doubted he would he just couldn't stop himself. He couldn't bring himself to stop going.

When he got to the street the restaurant was on he parked his car on the side then headed down towards it. Once he went inside he ordered his regular lunch and then he went to his regular seat. It was the same one he had been sitting in when he had spotted Avery again. He knew it was pathetic but maybe that was just the way his life was going to be now. It was going to be some big old pathetic mess because he missed the woman he loved and he was still to stubborn to end things with the woman who he was pretending to love.

After he finished his lunch he felt his cellphone vibrate in his pocket and he took it out seeing it was Brenda calling him. "Hello?" he asked into the receiver as he raised an eyebrow wondering what Brenda wanted.

"Hey babe," Brenda smiled as she heard Zac answer his phone. "I was just calling to remind you that Natalie is coming for dinner tonight. She is visiting from Kentucky and tonight is her last night and she decided to come join us for dinner."

Hearing Brenda mention Natalie, Zac swallowed hard. He still hadn't told her that Natalie outed them to Avery. He knew it probably would have made Brenda mad and ruined whatever friendship the two women had. It was something he hadn't wanted to do even if he was pissed about it himself. It hadn't been Natalie's place to say anything to Avery.

"O..okay," Zac stuttered hoping Brenda hadn't noticed. "I think I forgot you even mentioned it," he said knowing he usually tuned her out now days when she talked mainly because his mind was elsewhere.

Brenda laughed at Zac's words, "I think you tend to forget most things anyway babe," she said as she teased him. "But I only just mentioned it in a rush this morning so you were probably too sleepy to actually hear. I kind of hope you come home early though. While I don't trust you to cook it would be nice to have your help with getting the table set and stuff."

"I can be home early," Zac told Brenda knowing he'd at least try to be there early though he was dreading being around Natalie again.

It was after he said that, that Brenda said a few more things and then they hung up though he didn't return her I love you. He knew he should have but he just couldn't muster that. Not today.

Pocketing his phone he stood up and went to throw his trash away. After doing so he turned to head outside and leave but right as he turned around he felt a thud and he heard someone yelp which made him look down at the floor where a brunette woman had fallen.

Bending down Zac sighed, "I..I'm sorry," he stuttered when he the woman turned her head to look at him. He didn't know if he was just that high but this woman looked so much like Avery yet he could also see their differences too. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Neither was I," Blake confessed as she blushed when the man kept staring at her. "I had just gotten off the phone with my fiancee and I guess I just wanted to hurry up and leave so I could go meet him for some last minute wedding planning," she laughed.

When the woman talked Zac knew for sure in his heart she wasn't Avery. After all Avery hadn't had no English accent but this woman when she was silent could at least pass for her sister, "Here let me help you up," he said as he held his hand out to her as he stood up. "It's the least I can do right. I mean running into a pretty woman like you," he winked not even caring that he was flirting after she had said she was engaged. Avery had been married and that hadn't stopped him then.

Blake blushed but she took the man's hand as she stood up, "Well thank you for helping me up kind stranger," she nodded as she returned his wink.

"The name's Zac," Zac told her as he let go of her hand. "I mean so you don't have to keep calling me a stranger."

"Blake," Blake nodded as she introduced herself to him. "And I really should get going now," she laughed as she chewed her lip. "Maybe we'll see each other again sometime."

Zac smirked at her words, "Maybe we will," he said hoping they did. "I come here every week on this day," he informed her. "I mean in case you want to accidentally run into me again."

Laughing Blake just shook her head, "I'll keep that in mind," she said before turning to leave the restaurant.

Zac watched Blake leave and he sighed. He knew he shouldn't get involved with her or even entertain those ideas but she looked like Avery and she had that same innocent look in her eyes that Avery had. He wanted and he needed that again just to maybe feel somewhat whole and complete.  
_____________________________________________________________________

Two weeks later Zac sat up in the hotel bed. Yesterday had been the the third time he had meet with Blake at the restaurant and they had spent all day talking. Talking which eventually lead to flirting and agreeing to get drinks. It was after drinks that they had ended up here at this hotel.

Blake had admitted this had been wrong and she shouldn't be doing this yet she had still followed through with the sex. The sex had been amazing too even if every time Zac looked at Blake he was seeing Avery. It was just too easy to see her when he looked at the woman he was with. At least with her he hadn't had to close his eyes and see Avery's face like he had to do with Brenda. No he could keep his eyes open.

"You okay?" Blake asked from the bed where she laid. Zac's movements had woke her up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Zac said as he turned to look at her. "I'm just scared you'll regret what we did. I mean with your engagement and all."

Blake shook her head, "I don't regret it. It's not like my fiancee is having sex with me anyway. He wants to remain celibate until the wedding."

Smiling when Blake said she didn't regret it Zac laid down and kissed her on the lips, "He's stupid for trying to not have sex with such an attractive woman," he whispered into Blake's mouth. "And I don't regret what happened either," he said before kissing her again.

Zac knew his words were true. He couldn't regret something that made him remember the woman he wanted to be with and that was why he hoped this sex with Blake wouldn't just be a one time thing. He needed to keep her around for as long as he could so maybe in some twisted way he could pretend he was with Avery again.


	5. February 1,2017-February 8,2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: "Did my performance tonight suck?"

Black Birds Soaring In The Sky

Avery closed her eyes as she sat in the hospital waiting room with Taylor. His parents were on the other side of the room and they were all here waiting on Nikki to give birth to her and Isaac's second child. A little boy that they were supposedly naming Gabriel or Gavin or something with a G. At the moment Avery couldn't really remember.

"You want a coffee?" Avery asked Taylor as she opened her eyes to look at him. "If so I can go get you one," she said knowing she also wanted an excuse to slip out and call Jolene. Jolene had volunteered to watch Stella so that Avery and Taylor could be here and this was the longest that Stella who would be two next month had been away from both her parents.

Taylor turned to look at Avery and he nodded, "I can go with you though," he said as he looked at her. He really didn't want to be left in her alone with his parents.

Avery shook her head as she looked at him smiling, "I can go by myself," she told him. "Anyway I think your mom wants to talk to you. She's been eying you for awhile."

Shaking his head Taylor just fake glared at Avery before leaning in to peck her lips, "I love you," he whispered after he pulled away. "But if you mess up my coffee I may reconsider that."

Laughing slightly Avery stood up, "I've been with you for almost a decade Taylor. I think I know how you take your coffee," she winked before walking off and heading out of the waiting room.

Before going to the cafeteria though Avery went outside and called Jolene. Jolene had assured her that Stella was doing well and being a perfect angel and that Avery had nothing to worry about. Avery though couldn't help but worry, though after Jolene's insistence that things were fine she ended the call and finally headed inside to get Taylor a coffee as well as getting one for herself.

After she had the coffee's she headed back towards the waiting room but stopped when she didn't see Taylor.

"Tay went for a walk," Diana spoke when she saw Avery come back. "He said he needed to stretch his legs and that he just needed some time," she frowned knowing today had to be hard for both Taylor and Avery but of course Isaac could never go through a big event without his baby brother there.

Nodding when she heard Taylor needed time Avery turned and walked away. She had a hunch on where she would find Taylor and she followed that hunch all the way to the chapel where she found her husband sitting on a bench. Slowly she walked to where he was and sat down.

"Figured I'd find you here when your mom said you needed some time," she spoke when he looked at her. Handing him his coffee she swallowed hard before taking a drink of her own coffee, "I thought about coming here myself for the past hour," she admitted as she smiled sadly.

Taylor listened to Avery and he chewed on his lip, "I'm happy for Ike and Nikki," he said knowing he was happy that they were having a new addition to their family after four years. "But I keep thinking we should be the ones having our baby today," he frowned knowing that the baby Avery had been pregnant with, the baby she had lost was to have been due today as well.

"We would have been," Avery nodded as she looked down. "We would have been had I not lost him at twenty weeks," she said remembering the day she had lost their third son like it was yesterday. She had went in for a routine appointment for an ultrasound and she had found out the baby had no heartbeat. The doctors had been able to tell from his growth between her last appointment and that one, that he had probably died two days prior to her ultrasound.

It was after her ultrasound that she had asked to have a few hours to decide what to do. A few hours they had given her. She had called Taylor first thing and then her parents. By the end of the day she had agreed to let them induce her labor and four short hours after they had, her and Taylor's son had been born. They had held him in their hands and treated him like they would have their other babies but unlike their other babies he had been tiny and he had no heartbeat and he never would get to come home.

Instead three days after her labor they had buried him at the local cemetery. It was a day that had been hard on Avery and she knew it also had to have been hard on Taylor too. They had both lost Jackson and they were now both still grieving that loss. A loss they were being reminded of now that Nikki had went into labor on the day she should have given birth to Jackson.

Taylor finished his coffee in silence as Avery went silent after she spoke, "I miss him," he said once he did speak. "I miss him so much and I just..I know your dad is a preacher and he thinks everything happens for a reason but I still can't find a reason for why an innocent baby had to be lost."

"I know," Avery said as she felt a lump forming her throat as she finished off her coffee, "I know because I can't find a reason either. I can't find a reason why our baby died and all I want sometimes is answers or to know why and sometimes I just blame God in general. I blame him and I'm not even sure I really believe in him anymore anyway," she sighed as she fought back tears.

"But I do know that losing Jackson it brought me closer to you again," she said as her voice cracked. Losing their baby had brought her closer to Taylor and it had helped her see the man she had fallen in love with. She had almost forgot about Zac all together. It wasn't like Zac had been here. He hadn't been the one getting her through her loss, telling her things would be okay, letting her know he was there.

No that had been Taylor and he too had been grieving yet he still thought about her more in his own grief than he had thought about himself. It was then that she knew Taylor had always put her first in everything even in times when she hadn't done the same for him.

Taylor smiled slightly before reaching over and pulling Avery closer to him, "I know it brought you closer to me but I still wish it didn't have to happen," he said as he kissed her forehead. It was after he kissed her forehead that he finally broke down crying. He had been trying not too all day. He had been telling himself this was a happy occassion and that he didn't want to ruin Isaac and Nikki's happy day but he couldn't help it now that he sat here alone in the chapel with Avery.

Hearing Taylor cry Avery sighed as she rested her head on Taylor's shoulder and she too eventually broke down. She was sure if anyone came in they would look like a huge train wrecked mess but she didn't care. She had needed to cry. She had needed to let out her sadness and some of her anger that Isaac and Nikki were having their perfect and healthy son on the day she should have been giving birth to hers.  
_________________________________________________________________________________

Later that night Avery smiled as she laid in bed beside Taylor. Nikki had finally given birth around seven pm to a baby boy who had been named Gabriel and she and Taylor had gotten to come home not long after. Though they didn't bring their kids home. They had dropped Jonah and Charlie off with her parents and left Stella at Jolene's while they had came home.

They had ordered food from one of the Chinese food places in town and after they had ate it they had eventually done the only thing they knew to do with the emotions they were still feeling. They had made love and comforted each other in the rawest way they could and it had helped.

"You know I can feel you staring at me," Taylor spoke as he opened his eyes and looked at her. "Did my performance tonight suck?" he asked trying to sound offended.

Avery laughed and shook her head, "No your performance tonight didn't suck," she spoke as she kissed his chest softly liking it when she heard him moan out after that. "In fact I'd give your performance five stars and two thumbs up," she smirked as they locked eyes and she let her her hand lightly brush across his cock which again made him moan. "I was just thinking," she said as she sighed. "I think I want to get a tattoo to remember Jackson by."

"Oh?" Taylor asked as he raised an eyebrow. "What kind of tattoo?"

Avery thought for a moment, "A blackbird," she said as she nodded. "I mean that one song by the Beatles we played at his funeral. The one called Blackbird and then their is a song by Pink too that mentions a blackbird that I have been listening to a lot since we lost Jackson."

Smiling as he listened to her Taylor pulled her a bit closer, "I think I may get one too," he told her knowing he could see that as a nice way to remember their son.

Hearing what Taylor said Avery smiled before leaning into kiss him. A kiss that eventually lead to another round of them making love.  
_________________________________________________________________

A week later Avery chewed on her lip as she stood in front of her mirror, her shirt lifted slight to reveal the blackbird tattoo she had gotten on her side almost under her breast. It was somewhere she could easily cover it unless she was wearing a bathing suit which luckily wouldn't be for a few more months.

Hearing footsteps she blushed when she saw Taylor come in the room, "You really like it?" she asked as she pushed her shirt down and turned to look at him skeptically. "I mean I know you said you did but I guess I just wanna make sure."

"I really like it," Taylor told her as he walked over to her. "I mean I got one of my own too," he said showing her his wrist where he had gotten a blackbird as well. He had wanted to get his somewhere he could see it more easily than Avery's. "I kind of find yours sexy just because I'm the only one besides you who will see it half the time," he told her as he slipped his arms around her waist.

"Oh yeah?" Avery smirked as she slipped her arms around his neck. "Well maybe I should get another tattoo in a secret location," she suggested as she winked at him. "One that only you and I will ever see."

Taylor laughed before letting a hand fall to her ass which he squeezed playfully, "I actually prefer your ass the way it is," he told her before shaking his head no.

Making a face when he squeezed her ass Avery sighed, "You are such a party pooper," she teased him before pecking his lips and pulling away. "So how bad was the argument between Jonah and Charlie?"

"No limbs were lost," Taylor shrugged as he sat on the bed and stripped down to his boxers. "Or teeth either this time," he added in knowing that the last argument had resulted in Jonah hitting Charlie and causing one of his loose teeth to come out. "I did threaten to ground them though if they didn't go to bed."

"And to think I want another baby," Avery said as she walked to her side of the bed and climbed in. "I must be crazy right?" she asked teasingly.

Taylor raised an eyebrow as he looked at her, "You really want another baby?" he asked skeptically. He knew she had talked about applying for a job at the local elementary school next fall since that would be just a few months after her night classes to become a teacher ended.

"I really want another baby," Avery confirmed as she reached over and pulled him down on the bed, his head falling in her lap. "Now can we get to practicing?" she asked playfully before seeing a smirk on Taylor's lips as well as a certain look in his eyes. A look that told her she was going to get fucked tonight.


	6. March 14, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: "How long exactly is a few months?"

All Fucked Up On Love

Zac sighed as he looked at Brenda who had just destroyed their bedroom. She had found him in bed with another woman hours ago and while usually that would be okay well this time it was different. It was different because with this woman he hadn't met her at none of the clubs he and Brenda went too. She wasn't someone that Zac was just going to sleep with once nor was she someone Brenda had wanted to see him having sex with.

The woman had been someone he had met out at that same restaurant where he had saw Avery at. They had literally bumped into each other and when he looked at her he had almost thought he was seeing a ghost in ways. She had resembled the woman he had left behind in Kentucky and she had even had the same innocent look in her eyes. The look that had made Zac drawn to Avery the first time he saw her in his class.

"Are you calm now?" Zac asked Brenda as he slowly walked closer towards her. "I'm sure Blake would like to leave the house and the room now and well she really can't do that with you throwing things and blocking her way out," he said keeping his caution with Brenda

Brenda glared at the woman who was in her bed clutching a sheet around herself, "I'm not calm but that slut can leave," she snapped before watching the woman climb out of bed and dress quickly. It was after she had dressed that she left the room and house.

After she was gone Brenda just glared at Zac, "How long have you been fucking with that little mousy looking girl?" she asked as she crossed her arms.

"A few months," Zac admitted as he looked down not able to meet Brenda's gaze. He was ashamed that he had been caught even if he wasn't so ashamed that he had cheated.

"How long exactly is a few months?" Brenda asked as she kept her arms crossed, her glare getting worse.

Biting his lip Zac counted back in his head, "Five months," he answered as his voice went soft. "I was sleeping with Blake for five months."

At his answer Brenda just closed her eyes as she shook her head, "I just don't understand why you would do this," she said once she had opened her eyes. "I mean we have sex regularly and you even still get to have your fun with other women," she said as she uncrossed her arms. "So I know it's not lack of sex that made you cheat on me."

"It wasn't lack of sex," Zac confirmed as he looked at her and made a face before sitting down on the bed. "I cheated because Blake reminded me of Avery," he confessed knowing he hadn't even mentioned Avery since getting back with Brenda almost two years ago. Brenda hadn't liked him talking about her especially when she had seen pictures of her on his phone and on his instagram. Pictures he had refused to delete.

Hearing Avery's name Brenda ran a hand down her cheeks not know what to say. She wasn't naive, she knew he had said he loved Avery but she had always hoped his love for her was stronger. Hell she had gotten him to leave Avery when he had said he wouldn't. She had hoped she could get him to stop loving her too.

"What's so special about Avery?" Brenda asked harshly as she locked eyes with him. "I mean you left her without a god damn second thought and now you're cheating on me because someone looks like her?"

At Brenda's words Zac felt guilt but he wasn't sure it was because he had cheated on Brenda. His guilt was because she had reminded him of how he left things with her. He knew he had been rude and he probably could have done things better but at the time he had just missed Brenda and she had that ability to make him believe if he came back that he'd be as happy as he was before but he hadn't been.

Zac had known something was missing two months in when he started feeling like there was a void in his life. A void that no amount of sex with a stranger or Brenda could fix. Even sex with Blake hadn't fixed it all but it had came close because each time he was with her he didn't have to close his eyes. He could look at her when he was inside of her and actually fool himself into believing he was seeing Avery's face though without the look she had given him in their chance meeting a few years ago. That look he wanted to forget.

"I love her," Zac stated simply as he shrugged his shoulders. "I love her and I miss her and I don't think you or any amount of strangers can fix that," he said telling Brenda things he should have a long time ago.

Listening to Zac's words Brenda looked down at the engagement ring on her finger, "If you think that way then why propose?" she asked as she held her hand up to show him the ring he had given her two months prior.

Zac laughed bitterly, "Another mistake in a long line I have made," he said knowing the mistakes had started the day he left Avery. That had been his first mistake.

Brenda frowned at his answer but she just slid her engagement ring off and handed it to him, "Take it. Take it and get your shit together and leave my house," she said her anger returning now. "I'm giving you an hour and if you aren't gone then I go outside and I will ruin that precious damn truck of yours."

Hearing her Zac just nodded and stood from the bed without saying another word. Getting dressed he gave Brenda one last look once he was done and then he proceeded to pack his stuff before carrying it out to his truck and putting it in the backseat. Once he had everything he got in and started it, driving off without even saying anything else to Brenda mainly because her threat on giving him an hour or she'd ruin his truck.

He did need this truck to get him back to Kentucky. It was the only place he knew to go back too. It was the only place where his heart wanted him to go. He knew he had messed up terribly but maybe just maybe he could do something right if he went back. He could try to fix stuff with Avery if she'd let him. Hell he should have tried harder that day in October when he had seen her.

Zac also knew she was with Taylor now but he'd fight for her. He'd fight for the woman he still loved and wanted to be with. The woman he needed to make amends with.  
______________________________________________________________________

Jolene who had arrived back from Stella's birthday party stopped when she reached her porch, "Zac?" she asked confused at the sight of her son sitting on her porch bundled up in a huge coat and scarf. "I..I wasn't expecting you here," she said knowing she also hadn't seen his truck though he usually parked that in the garage.

"Brenda and I broke up," Zac revealed as he gave his mom a sheepish smile. "This time it was my fault," he told her sadly. "I drove to the only place I knew to come," he said as he stood up.

Rolling her eyes Jolene just shook her head, "And you waited on the porch until I got back?"

"I had no choice," Zac answered as he smirked. "You may have left the garage open but the door there was locked and so was the front door and I don't have a key anymore," he said knowing he had lost it somewhere in his move to California again.

Jolene sighed as she looked at Zac a bit longer. She really wanted to be mad at him because not only had he left Avery but he had left her too. He hadn't even came to see her in three years but the more she looked at him she just saw the boy she had raised since birth. She saw the baby she had loved from the moment he was put in her arms.

"Come on," she said as she walked to the door and unlocked it. "Let's get you inside before you get sick. Wouldn't want my son to get hypothermia," she teased as she opened the door and stepped inside.

Smiling at his mom's words Zac watched her unlock the door and he stepped in behind her, "So where were you for so long?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow. "I've been waiting for an hour."

Jolene paused briefly as she tried to think of an answer to give Zac, "Oh I had a birthday party to attend," she said finally giving him part of the truth.

Zac kept his eyebrow raised as he looked at his mom, "Your friends still throw parties?" he asked as he picked at her. "I mean I figured you guys would just cry in your room the older you get, not go out and celebrate," he laughed as he watched her turn to glare at him.

"You know you are thirty-one Zachary," Jolene stated using his full name. "You aren't getting any younger either," she winked as she took off her coat and put it on the coat rack. "But the part wasn't for one of my friends. It was a friends daughter. She turned two."

"Oh..." Zac said as he just shook his head not knowing his mom even had any friends old enough to have a two year old but then again she probably did work with women in their twenties and thirties so maybe she did have friends old enough to have kids who were still young.

"Yeah oh," Jolene muttered as she walked away from him and headed into the kitchen. "You know you can take your coat off and then come in here and I'll fix you some soup," she called too him as she walked away.

Watching his mom walk away Zac just smiled glad that he had came back home. He already felt part way complete and the other thing to make him feel whole would be to get Avery back and to tell her things he should have when he saw her in California. He shouldn't have just let her walk away and at least here in Kentucky she couldn't just walk away. This small town had no crowded streets she could get lost in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Fragments of Life happened because I was trying to unsuccessfully start on the sequel for Can't Win For Losing. I went through so many different versions of a first chapter, all because I knew there was going to be a time skip but I didn't want to do a huge ass info dump in the first chapter but that always kept happening.
> 
> So I decided to be like well maybe I can do a mini fic to fill in those missing years and this was the result thanks to also seeing a title that I saved from the Nano adoptable title threads.


	7. Soundtrack

  1. Quit You-Tristan Prettyman 
  2. Brown Eyed Girl-Van Morrison 
  3. Portal-Lights 
  4. Every Once In Awhile-Blackhawk 
  5. The Best of My Love-Eagles 
  6. Hotel California-Eagles 
  7. Beam Me Up-Pink 
  8. Where Did The Party Go-Fall Out Boy 
  9. Home-Edward Sharpe&The Magnetic Zeros




End file.
